My partner declared the other day he had examined his own habits based on seeing someone else with the same characteristics. What he had seen the other person doing he thought was ugly on the other person and realized how ugly that was a characteristic in himself.
In that moment my partner was doing three important things in life – he identified himself in someone else’s behavior, he became self aware and then decided to change his behavior – this is evolution and frankly, it’s a beautiful thing.
We see evolution in nature all the time. Animals adapt to their surroundings and the evolution of humans has meant that we have gone from grunts for communication to the artfulness of language – many languages in fact – as a way to express feelings and emotions and connect with each other. How marvelous!
This also means life gets better. When we face the things that frighten us the most we are able to live braver, stronger, happier and more content. We can live authentically. We can actually be the truest form of ourselves.
Evolution is a constant process but when you get a taste of it, you realize a life without it can be limiting and repetitive.
Here are the five stages of personal evolution…..
1. Mental Blocks
It’s so easy to say it’s them, not me. Blaming others is a key roadblock to development. Living in the delusion that you never do anything wrong can make you narrow minded. Ultimately, if you think you are convincing yourself you are doing nothing wrong then why would you need to change anything?
Good news is that if you have this much resistance to the process, you are of the understanding that something isn’t working.
2. Self Awareness
The next stage is admitting to yourself that you don’t know everything, aren’t always right and can not be perfect 100% of the time. Actually taking these defense mechanisms off yourself can be a gloriously refreshing break from the pressure to know everything and be everything.
The best advice I was ever given was to ‘take a step back; you always get a better view’. This is self awareness. Looking at a situation from the outside in instead of the inside out. Once we are willing to acknowledge imperfections we are making a huge step forward in our process of evolution.
3. The Decision
We all have the ability to evolve; it’s whether we decided to do so or not. Yep, that’s right, it is a decision we make. Once we are self aware of the bulls*it we feed ourselves, we are more willing to accept those changes that need to happen towards our evolution.
So making the decision to change our behaviours in ourselves we find negative is a major choice in our lives towards personal growth.
4. Overcoming Fear
Once we make a decision all those protective mechanisms in our brains will start to spark up and scream at us ‘don’t change! You are fine the way you are!’ Change means work and it is so much easier to stick with the way things are in life. At this point you will have to stay firm to your decision and probably fight an internal battle to side step those old habits. I don’t know why our thoughts keep us down and hold us back but they do and we have to be brave enough to decide moving forward is better than staying stuck.
5. Habits & Practice
Once we decide something it doesn’t just all fit into place. The world around us doesn’t magically adjust because we have made a decision. Deciding that you want to change and getting past all your negative thoughts is a huge deal but means absolutely nothing if we expect all the heavy lifting to be done by others instead of by ourselves.
Like anything in life, anything worth having is worth working for. Getting rid of daily habits and practicing your new found perspective can be a challenge at the start but becomes easier as time goes on. Now you are self aware of what you want to change in yourself you will constantly see when you are slipping into old habits and can self-correct towards the way you want to be.
The benefits of changing and evolving are a constant win in life. I find as a woman this has made me more confident, less self-absorbed and more caring – all things I wanted to improve on in my life. In my own personality I am more willing to challenge myself as well as others and speak up. Whatever your challenges are and the aspects of your own personality you want to work on, by taking steps towards your own personal evolution can quite often have a huge impact on your life.